Yay For Life!
by Kathlan315
Summary: What is lives outside of Akatsuki like? What is the REAL reason Kakuzu lost his heart? How does Akatsuki live their life when No one is watching and they don't have a big 'o camera in front of them? Are they really that evil as they meant to be? Well this is a series of lol moments of our favorite characters. (Some includes implied Yaoi...)
1. Sasori Shorty Submissive

** for Life!**

**Chapter 1: Sasori=Short=Submissive**

* * *

Kakuzu and Sasori are in a conversation that they don't want anyone, meaning _anyone_ to hear. But because Deidara and Hidan is way too curious to just let it go...they decided to eavesdrop.

"...You are short." Deidara sees that his Danna twitched at the comment.

"And...what does that have to do with being submissive?" Sasori asked cautiously.

"...Sasori equals short. Short equals to not much power. Therefore submissive." Sasori secretly got out his Sandime. And was ready to attack.

"Fuck you. I'm _not_ weak!" He yelled.

"You wish. You can only be on the bottom." Sasori blushed madly, and punched Kakuzu in the face.

"HA! IN YOUR FACE!" Hidan couldn't hold it anymore. "LOL. SASORI DA UKE-DANNA!"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, HIDAN!" He screamed in a _very_ high voice. Like a girl, basically.

"Saso-Danna, that kind of sounded like a-" Sasori glared at Deidara.

"SHUT UP!"

"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO." Hidan laughed. "SHORTY UKE!"

"I said..." Sasori took a deep breathe. "SHUT YOUR STUPID ASS UP!"

"Clam down, Danna-"

"Do NOT tell me what to do you BRAT!" Sasori basically was about to explode. "YOU WILL NEVER TOP ME, NOT NOW. NOT IN A THOUSAND YEARS!"

"What about ten thousand?" Hidan popped in.

"YOU WANNA FIGHT ABOUT IT!?"

"YOU CAN'T FUCKING FIGHT, SHORTY!"

"YOU WANNA BET!?"

"YEAH! LET'S BET!"

And that day. You know what's the cost of calling Sasori short and submissive?

The price was Kakuzu's one heart, the TV, the Akatsuki Hideout, Hidan's head, Zetsu's favorite garden, Kisame's own pool, 68 clay bombs, 51 puppets and suspension from missions for a month.

So the moral of this chapter is that...

**Never, ever, ever, ever call Sasori a shorty or submissive. Reason is he's too prideful to submit-**

**Saso: *coughs* Excuse me?**

**I mean...too..._strong_ to submit. ^^'**

**Saso: That's what I thought. Hn.**


	2. The REAL reason Akatsuki is Akatsuki

** for Life!**

**Chapter 2: the real reason Akatsuki is Akatsuki**

* * *

Once apon a time, okay maybe only a year or so...Akatsuki were normal people. Kisame has normal skin color. Itachi has black eyes. Deidara doesn't have 4 mouths. Sasori is human. Pein didn't have one thousand piercings. Konan can't turn into paper. Hidan is Christian. Kakuzu only has one heart. Orochimaru is here. Zetsu doesn't have two sides.

Until One day...Tobi came.

"HEY GUYS!" Tobi yelled happily. "GUESS WHAT?"

"You have a jar of dirt?" Zetsu asked.

"You learned art?" Deidara asked.

"You're converting to Jashinism?" Hidan asked eagerly.

"What?" Kisame and Itachi said in unison.

"You found my puppet?" Sasori questioned, not looking up from his book.

"You're not insane?" Pein glared harshly.

"NO! TOBI GOT A BOYFRIEND!"

...

...

...

...

...Wait for it...

"Tobi got a **WHAT**!?" Everyone yelled in unison. Man it was so loud, it probably reached Konnoha.

(Somewhere in Konnoha.)

Naruto tilted his head slightly. "Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?" Sakura yawned.

"Tobi got a what?"

"No, why?" Sakura looked around.

"Who's Tobi?"

"How am I suppose to know!?" Bam. Here we go again.

(Back to Akatsuki)

There is chaos everywhere.

Kisame is turning blue.

Itachi's eyes are red.

Pein swore he's going to get piercing just to make him forget.

Konan decided to do paper tattoo.

Deidara asked the doctors to sew hands on himself.

Sasori is going to turn himself into a puppet.

Hidan swore he's going to worship _Jashin_

Kakuzu's is going to get more hearts so he won't die of heart attack.

Zetsu turned green, and developed two sides.

Orochimaru left.

In short, Tobi is the reason that Akatsuki is the Akatsuki we know today.

**So the moral of this chapter is...don't judge someone because they wear a masks, acts innocent or adorable...they can still make people become insane! **

**Tobi: Is Tobi a bad boy now?**

**...er...no?**

**Tobi: YAY!**


End file.
